Thank you, John. As I walk my journey of understanding myself, with it's ups and downs - including some pretty bad downs - I can understand and identify with a lot of this Bible Insight.
When I'm finding it hard to be positive about things and feeling as if I'm constantly fighting against so many negative thoughts and feelings, I feel so awful about myself that sometimes I don't know what to say when someone asks how I am.
In the past, I would have just smiled and said "fine thanks", not looking the other person in the eye. But now I'm starting to be more honest and real. When I feel safe with someone or feel our relationship is ready to go deeper - and when the situation is right- I will tell them how I feel; as a result, this can strengthen my relationship with the other person, if it's a good one - and it can give the other person a chance to say or do something nice for me - and at the same time it helps me accept the situation, to put words to my emotions and thoughts, and to process. It's also very good to feel I can be real.
Yes thank you for explaining the dilemma we have when confronted with our feelings and how to deal with them positively.
I found it was a very accurate explanation of what has happened to me today ! Sometimes life has a habit of conspiring to unearth feelings from a very deep level that we are only vaguely aware of. What has been percolating under the surface for me for some long, time and bobbed out on top was a feeling of failure - no children. It was like a heavy black cloud of longing, weighing me down, making life a struggle. Not only that, I felt disconnected from people.
As the article mentioned, the most helpful thing is to speak to someone who will acknowledge the feeling with you and then put it into God's perspective. Which is what happened, my receiving two insights 'Yes that's quite normal, you would be quite an odd person if you didn't want children, you're O.K. to feel as you do' and 'this is what you can do about it, celebrate the fact that there are things you can do as a single person, that a family person is unable to do, you can serve the Lord in your own personal way, you have a purpose to fulfil that isn't given to another'. I really like that, firstly I don't need to condemn myself and next I can contribute in my own personal way, I'm not a failure.
Thanks John! Sometimes we'd rather not feel the pain as we can get stuck there. The challenge I guess is to feel all that we are capable of so we can also truly empathise and live as God created us but in the full knowledge that he has us firmly in his hands and we are totally safe and loved by him. I always say / write these things and then feel slightly frustrated cos I know living them is tough. And what does safe really mean? Nice words Nicky. It's clear you've come along way on your journey to be able to say such things.
Feeling like I'm moaning or gossiping is always something I struggle with as a Christian and for a long time the thought I was maybe doing either of those made me stop talking about anything to people. I'm slowly learning that it is better to share things and talk rather than keep it all in but I still find the balance difficult sometimes. As you say it's about finding someone that's emotionally secure to share with but sometimes it's hard to find those people at the times you need it. God wants us to be real though.
Halesworth Community Church