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What value!
The thoughts for this reflection came from one of my nieces. I have asked her if I may use it as I write for the New Year and I am sure you that you will enjoy reading it as much as I did:
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‘On New Year’s Day I had the great pleasure of visiting The Ritz, in London, for afternoon tea as a treat with a friend. From the moment we arrived I was blown away by the care shown towards us. Every door was opened for us and we were spoken and attended to in such a caring and well-mannered way. On arrival at our table the experience continued as chairs were pulled out for us and our napkins were placed upon our laps ready for the afternoon tea that would follow. Throughout the afternoon we continued to be treated in such a way that made us both feel so special and gave us a sense of importance and value. Nothing we could ask was too much trouble and our needs were met by our waiter before we even had chance to think about asking! Even as we prepared to leave The Ritz the high standard of care shown towards us continued. Whilst we appreciated that we had paid for this experience we both, as two single ladies, were so touched by the care and attention that we had received and how special it had made us both feel.’

We have been given a beautiful description of value. My niece has my greatest admiration because she has made life work for her although she has had to cope with much sadness and disappointment. I see her as enterprising, resourceful and a kind young lady to friends, colleagues and family. Nothing seems to phase her and she creates time to be there to do things with, and for, others and herself. She is a wonderful ray of sunshine!

The tragedy is that value, whether it is given or received, proves to be so difficult to find. It takes time to give value, which in itself seems to also be in short supply because of our demanding life styles. There is always something else to do that seems more important.

​Showing respect and good manners are the easiest ways to give value. We mustn’t allow the way we have been treated to stop us giving value to others. It never hurts to be kind and two wrongs don’t make a right. Often we learn how to give value from the wisdom and example of someone else. We know it is right to show respect and kindness even though the recipient may be withdrawn or badly behaved.

Do you find that you cannot handle a ‘well done’ or ‘thank you’ or that you have an inner debate going on of ‘would it be alright to do this’ or to ‘offer this or that’ or ‘what if that person would be better than me’? Low self-esteem can make the giving and receiving of value difficult. Why not take a practical route? Slowing down and learning not to complicate things might go a long way to help us over these hurdles. Make the effort to acknowledge kindness by saying ‘thank you’ instead of ‘you shouldn’t have’ or ‘what did you do that for’? Why not make life work for you. Apply yourself fully to a situation. Don’t wait to be asked when you want to do something and know that you will miss out because there is no one to take you.  Go yourself with or without a companion.

We all have value, however we are treated. Some self-belief could go a long way to helping us value ourselves. It is worth us changing our attitude to ourselves and finding that we have our own unique way of giving value to others.

Merle Sparkes, January 2015

Return to Merle's Reflections 2015 ​
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