In this article I will be tackling the third question, 'How important is rational thinking and logic when effectively communicating with ladies?' We hopefully have an inkling of what the answer could be but perhaps it is not as straight forward as we first thought. From our first Men’s Day we got to grips with our roles, we know that we are made differently and made to complement each other. Rational and logical thinking are an important part of life, in work and family; the opposite of these would cause chaos.
In a relationship that was irrational and illogical there would be a greater chance of hurt and people would be left muddled and damaged. When I mentioned the words logic and rational thinking to my wife she said they do not compute with her at all, they may as well not even be in the dictionary. This begs interesting questions. Is it part of my role to inject a man’s way of thinking into situations that call for it? Should I use my powers of communication to help my wife to see things from my point of view? I am sure I can solve a lot of the minor issues that seem to occur with just a few simple steps.
In my experience this doesn’t work. The key is my starting point. Logic, rational thinking and indeed good common sense are completely null and void when our ladies are expressing their feelings. There is a time for these attributes but it comes way further down the road, if at all. Our ladies have a unique and essential feel for life and if we mould it to fit our way of thinking we will miss the point and leave them feeling stranded. Our challenge is to not only see it through their eyes but also to feel what they feel. If they feel that we feel what they feel we have nailed it!
I recently took on another challenge in the garden which required a huge amount of energy that I didn’t have. My wife looked on and saw me struggling and raised concerns. Whilst I appreciated her concerns I had also planned this project and in my mind had no choice other than to press ahead. My logical responses to her feelings on the situation left a gap. I am writing this article looking out of the window into my garden (half -finished) barely able to lift my arms to type. I am learning to get the feel and accept the bigger picture.
I watched a young man getting a good telling off from his mother. I thought it wasn’t justified and I felt for him. What impressed me most was the fact that he took it so well and understood his mother’s perspective. The issue was very quickly resolved with no left over animosity. I think I may have taken longer to have reached this point because I would have been tempted to apply a few facts to the situation first. This is a constant challenge but one worth pursuing. Our ladies will develop a sense of freedom and value rather than feeling that they are the voice of doom or a constant drain on us. They will feel they can bring anything to us, big or small without feeling condemned. This is what it means to be like Christ.