As Christians, we desire to grow and mature as we follow Christ. Last Sunday, we sang about getting to a place where our 'trust (in God) is without borders' and also of God's kindness and love.
God may answer our prayer to go deeper in our faith by drawing us out of our comfort zone to do something which demands a new level of trust and dependence on Him - we know we cannot do the thing in our own strength or ability. It may be scary, even terrifying, but He brings us through and, afterwards, we are glad. It is good, and we feel that our trust and faith in Him have grown.
However, life can be extremely tough - things can happen to us - bad things - circumstances so huge, that they paralyse us and numb us - the untimely death of a loved one, a broken heart, a divorce or a deep betrayal. We may kick and scream at God and feel as though our life is over or, at least, will never be as good again.
We can carry the resulting pain and disappointment for years. Kris Vallotton (Bethel Church, Redding, California, USA) has likened this disappointment to an apple seed which we carry around with us in a bag. We periodically take out the seed to show people and tell them of our pain and our dreams which have died. In order to move on from that place of disappointment, he suggests the following:
that we take that 'seed' of disappointment and ask the Lord, 'How do I plant this?'
that, although there is no observable life in that seed, we take it and plant it in the ground. As we wait, and give it light and water, we can create a place for resurrection. Something we think is dead may be longing to germinate. That seed can grow into an apple tree and produce hundreds of seeds and thousands of apples.
It is in that resurrection process that we begin to see God's love and kindness.
'I tell you the truth, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.' John 12:24