Reaching out
Afternoon tea was introduced in England by Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, in the year 1840. The Duchess would become hungry around four o'clock in the afternoon. The evening meal in her household was served fashionably late at eight o'clock, thus leaving a long period of time between lunch and dinner. The Duchess asked that a tray of tea, bread and cake be brought to her room during the late afternoon. This became a habit of hers and she began inviting friends to join her. Today afternoon tea itself has become a very fashionable concern with lots of establishments offering ornate delicacies at even more delicate prices.
As a child I loved going to tea at my gran’s. Home-made cakes and ‘sarnies’ adorned the table and sat in pride of place right in the middle of the table was the old ‘brown betty’ teapot, clothed with a bright orange, hand-knitted tea cosy. It wasn’t an elaborate affair. I sat on the old laundry basket which was sturdy enough to hold a child and give them the extra height needed to reach the table. It passed down to my brother, sister and younger cousins. I loved the chatter at the table and even the fight with my brother over the cake we’d both eyed up. Gran lived in a tiny end terrace house but it always seemed filled with people, her back door was always open. By the time gran died she was the only person present during the daytime in her terrace. It became then a lonely place to be.
Loneliness and isolation are a worrying concern in the 21st century. According to Age UK, more than 2 million people in England over the age of 75 live alone, and more than a million older people say they go for over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member. Many people today don’t know who their neighbour is. Over the years we’ve created distance from those around us. We’ve put up physical barriers to protect our ‘castles’. As a child I could stand in gran’s garden and wave to the man in his garden 4 doors down, today there is a high fence or hedge between each property. We seem intent on keeping people out, rather than letting them in.
Jesus didn’t wait to be asked for an invitation to tea, he invited himself! He told Zacchaeus he was coming to his house. Perhaps we need to be bold like Jesus and invite ourselves to have tea with someone. Why wait for an invitation? And like the Duchess of Bedford we could invite someone to have tea with us. It doesn’t need to be an elaborate affair. If an invitation is declined, don’t take offense, boldly ask again another time, the person may genuinely have been busy that day, rather than not want to come. Jesus came to serve others rather than be served. In serving others we find a sense of value and creativity which also helps to assuage our own loneliness and isolation. We can reminisce over knitted tea cosies and old laundry baskets…
As a child I loved going to tea at my gran’s. Home-made cakes and ‘sarnies’ adorned the table and sat in pride of place right in the middle of the table was the old ‘brown betty’ teapot, clothed with a bright orange, hand-knitted tea cosy. It wasn’t an elaborate affair. I sat on the old laundry basket which was sturdy enough to hold a child and give them the extra height needed to reach the table. It passed down to my brother, sister and younger cousins. I loved the chatter at the table and even the fight with my brother over the cake we’d both eyed up. Gran lived in a tiny end terrace house but it always seemed filled with people, her back door was always open. By the time gran died she was the only person present during the daytime in her terrace. It became then a lonely place to be.
Loneliness and isolation are a worrying concern in the 21st century. According to Age UK, more than 2 million people in England over the age of 75 live alone, and more than a million older people say they go for over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member. Many people today don’t know who their neighbour is. Over the years we’ve created distance from those around us. We’ve put up physical barriers to protect our ‘castles’. As a child I could stand in gran’s garden and wave to the man in his garden 4 doors down, today there is a high fence or hedge between each property. We seem intent on keeping people out, rather than letting them in.
Jesus didn’t wait to be asked for an invitation to tea, he invited himself! He told Zacchaeus he was coming to his house. Perhaps we need to be bold like Jesus and invite ourselves to have tea with someone. Why wait for an invitation? And like the Duchess of Bedford we could invite someone to have tea with us. It doesn’t need to be an elaborate affair. If an invitation is declined, don’t take offense, boldly ask again another time, the person may genuinely have been busy that day, rather than not want to come. Jesus came to serve others rather than be served. In serving others we find a sense of value and creativity which also helps to assuage our own loneliness and isolation. We can reminisce over knitted tea cosies and old laundry baskets…
Jenny Basey-Fisher
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