In six short articles, Julie shares how understanding herself helped her to walk through the experience of being bereaved.
Julie writes, 'I would like to share some personal thoughts on bereavement and the process of grief and the benefits I’ve gained by understanding myself throughout that process. It’s not written from a theoretical or a theological perspective; rather it is written from my experience of grief following the death of my husband. My husband died at the age of 56, after a long illness; he had been ill with brain cancer for two and a half years and the last few months of his life had been very difficult. He passed away very quietly and peacefully with our eldest daughter at his side.'
Understanding brings strength 'I had known throughout my husband’s long illness that he would eventually die but the course and progression of that illness was very uncertain and, in many ways, he confounded the medical professionals and outlived their expectations.'
'I wrote the following blog for the HCC website back in January 2013 and thought back to it recently when I reflected on the service we held to celebrate my husband’s life and decided an update would be good.'
'It’s nearly 6 weeks since my husband passed away and a month since the service we held to celebrate his life and in many ways I’m finding the process of grief and adjusting to life without him harder now than it was at first.'
'I’ve learnt something new this week about my temperaments and how they work together, in this case to condemn me, and I’m writing this in the hope that it might help others with the same temperament mix. I have the Choleric and Melancholic temperaments and over the years I’ve come to understand how much the Choleric condemns my Melancholic, which is very negative about who I am anyway, and this can lead to a cycle of guilt and low self-worth.' Click here to read the rest of this article.
Understanding brings comfort
'It’s 9 weeks since my husband passed away and I’ve found this time extremely difficult, much more so than I expected; because he had been terminally ill for a long time I thought I was prepared for when he eventually died. Not so! I have felt, and at times still do feel, lost, completely bereft and so very alone and the strength and depth of those feelings has taken me by surprise and made life feel very difficult.' Click here to read the rest of this article.
Understanding needs to continue
'I wrote a series of articles about my experience of understanding bereavement following the death of my husband last year and the difference that understanding made to the process of grieving. We’ve just passed the first anniversary of his death and I’ve been reminded again of the importance of understanding – understanding myself and my feelings, understanding those around me but also of not getting stuck in those feelings but keeping sight of the bigger picture.' Click here to read the rest of this article.