More of us are living longer! Within forty years the number of people aged eighty and over is set to more than double. This is great news for those who are loving life, but has implications for the health and care industries. How will our communities and neighbourhoods respond? And what does it mean for us as individuals? When we reach a certain age, our strength begins to fade. As we become elderly, simple tasks such as getting out of a chair, walking and opening jars become a challenge. It is critical we keep using our muscles so we have a better quality of life and remain independent for as long as we can. Two thoughts arise from this. Firstly, I am not sure how comfortable I would feel being cared for. taking responsibility for my health now, is a good idea, but it won’t guarantee anything. Would I be an awkward patient? Secondly, how good would I be at caring for someone if I had to? Some people seem to be more naturally caring. They have the ability to not only do the practical jobs that go with helping someone but have the personal skills to make people feel understood and valued. Giving dignity in undignified situations. To allow myself to be cared for I have to accept the things I cannot do. I have to recognise that we need each other, not just when we can’t do things for ourselves anymore, but we really do need the people around us. Think of your different relationships, at home, at work and in social settings. They all hold a mirror up, and that mirror reflects the different roles we play. These form part of our identity. As we get older our circumstances change, we choose to embrace or resist them. Resisting causes bitterness and upset, adapting can strengthen the relationships we have. How do I become more caring? I have to consider my own value: I may find it easy to be self- sacrificing and giving if I have a low view of myself. I can become a doormat because I deserve nothing better. Equally, I may find it beneath me to walk in someone else’s shoes if my view of myself is inflated. Neither can care properly because caring is giving value. I have to know my value and choose to engage and give from a position of strength. I have to go to part of myself that is prepared to put another person’s needs above my own. Sounds simple, but rarely is. It is a place that doesn’t count the cost. A parent with a new-born has to self- sacrifice, but we have a choice. Good choices become good habits and form long term patterns of behaviour. The choice to keep your body active and exercise your will to choose to put other’s first is a biblical principle that may keep us healthy into old age!