Becoming Comfortable with the Uncomfortable - Part 3
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."
Matthew 5:5
Matthew 5:5
Once again, we are faced with a verse that seems to go completely against what society would lead us to believe. It would be easy to think that the higher up society’s ladder you go, the more blessed you are. You only have to turn on the television to be led to believe that the more successful and famous you are, the more blessed you will be. And yet once again, Jesus tells us differently. As Kyle[1] points out in his book ‘Jesus says the way up is down. Greatness is humility.’ Jesus reminds us of this in Luke 18:14 ‘For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.’ It would be easy to brush over this verse and avoid the challenging self-reflection that lies at its heart, but we have to be willing to stop and dig a little deeper, if we are to truly reach the end of ourselves and really learn what it is to become comfortable living in the uncomfortable.
In Luke 18:9, Jesus tells the parable of the Pharisee and tax collector, two individuals who would have been at opposite ends of society’s popularity vote. The Pharisees were looked up to, being well educated and influential. The tax collector on the other hand, was one of the most despised, looked down upon individuals of that time. It was common knowledge that not only did the tax collectors collect taxes for the Romans, but they also helped themselves to a bit extra to line their own pockets. As Kyle points out ‘the tax collector was a legalised thief.’ The problem was, as Kyle writes, is that ‘the Pharisees became obsessed with rules. They started with good intentions but turned their faith into a list of dos and don’ts. God had given those rules for the sake of people, but in a Pharisee’s mind, people lived for the sake of rules.’ The minute we live our lives according to dos and don’ts, we will quickly fall into the trap of judging people against their ability to do the right thing, a bit like a graded tick list, rather than seeing the qualities and attributes that lie within.
For those of you who have read the parable, you will notice that it begins with a key piece of information ‘To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:’. It would be understandable to read this and feel that this statement didn’t apply to us and to even think of people that we know who we could relate this to but in doing so, we are becoming the very people that Jesus was talking about. Kyle makes this clear when he says ‘Everyone in the crowd recognised Jesus’ characters. But did they see the target on their own clothing.’
The prayer of the Pharisee is loaded with pride and self-gratification. He has no problem in putting himself up on the highest pedestal whilst pushing others face down in the mud, even someone that he spots part way through his prayer. Now we might read that and instantly react inside thinking that we would never do something so boastful or unkind, but the truth is that ‘Fake humility expresses itself in a pride that is obvious to everyone but the speaker’ Kyle Idleman.
I have to be honest and say that when I initially read this beatitude and started to read the parable, I wouldn’t have instantly put myself up there alongside the Pharisee but in his book, Kyle sets out some of the signs of the potential Pharisee that we all have lurking inside, and it certainly makes for challenging and uncomfortable reading. If you really are willing to reach the end of yourself and allow God to form you into who he wants you to be, then I encourage you to set the distractions to one side, make yourself vulnerable and be prepared for what God wants to say to you as we work our way through some of Kyle’s suggestions of what pride could potentially look like in each and every one of us.
In Luke 18:9, Jesus tells the parable of the Pharisee and tax collector, two individuals who would have been at opposite ends of society’s popularity vote. The Pharisees were looked up to, being well educated and influential. The tax collector on the other hand, was one of the most despised, looked down upon individuals of that time. It was common knowledge that not only did the tax collectors collect taxes for the Romans, but they also helped themselves to a bit extra to line their own pockets. As Kyle points out ‘the tax collector was a legalised thief.’ The problem was, as Kyle writes, is that ‘the Pharisees became obsessed with rules. They started with good intentions but turned their faith into a list of dos and don’ts. God had given those rules for the sake of people, but in a Pharisee’s mind, people lived for the sake of rules.’ The minute we live our lives according to dos and don’ts, we will quickly fall into the trap of judging people against their ability to do the right thing, a bit like a graded tick list, rather than seeing the qualities and attributes that lie within.
For those of you who have read the parable, you will notice that it begins with a key piece of information ‘To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:’. It would be understandable to read this and feel that this statement didn’t apply to us and to even think of people that we know who we could relate this to but in doing so, we are becoming the very people that Jesus was talking about. Kyle makes this clear when he says ‘Everyone in the crowd recognised Jesus’ characters. But did they see the target on their own clothing.’
The prayer of the Pharisee is loaded with pride and self-gratification. He has no problem in putting himself up on the highest pedestal whilst pushing others face down in the mud, even someone that he spots part way through his prayer. Now we might read that and instantly react inside thinking that we would never do something so boastful or unkind, but the truth is that ‘Fake humility expresses itself in a pride that is obvious to everyone but the speaker’ Kyle Idleman.
I have to be honest and say that when I initially read this beatitude and started to read the parable, I wouldn’t have instantly put myself up there alongside the Pharisee but in his book, Kyle sets out some of the signs of the potential Pharisee that we all have lurking inside, and it certainly makes for challenging and uncomfortable reading. If you really are willing to reach the end of yourself and allow God to form you into who he wants you to be, then I encourage you to set the distractions to one side, make yourself vulnerable and be prepared for what God wants to say to you as we work our way through some of Kyle’s suggestions of what pride could potentially look like in each and every one of us.
‘You may be a Pharisee if you catch yourself saying…’
‘You aren’t going to talk like that to me!’
‘Pride makes us defensive and unwilling to hear criticism or correction. It’s also assuming a hierarchy in which we outrank the other person.’ What is our gut reaction to somebody lovingly pointing something out to us? Ephesians 4:2 sets out quite the challenge: ‘Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.' Do we make ourselves open and vulnerable to receiving feedback and advice or do we put up a defence and protect ourselves, scared that somebody might actually point out our own greatest fears about ourselves?
‘I’m not going to be the one to apologise.’
How easy do we find it to apologise, and I mean to truly apologise without any hidden excuses or follow up justifications as to why we behaved in a certain way? Naturally, proud people tend to be drawn into conflict and yet really struggle with the concept of having to apologise at a heart level.
‘It’s not fair.’
‘If I feel I’m more deserving than everybody around me, a lot of things are going to seem unfair.’ If we struggle with pride then we will naturally feel as though we are entitled to things that make life comfortable rather than being grateful for them. What do our prayers look like? Are our prayers filled with thanks for what we have been blessed with? If not, you can confidently know that pride has got in the way and led you to believe that those blessings are the very least you deserve so why would you need to say thank you for them.
‘Did you hear about…’
How quick are we to find the ‘tax collector’ in the room or in our conversations? Pharisees will quickly join in with any kind of talk that raises them up higher in order to push others further down. It’s worth stopping and asking what the motive is behind our conversations.
‘I don’t need anybody’s help.’
Kyle points out that at no point in his prayer does the Pharisee ask for God’s help. He clearly thinks that he’s fully sufficient in his own capabilities. Be careful as ‘Pride keeps us from realising how desperately we need God.’ A proud person will see seeking help as a sign of weakness. Thomas Merton, an American monk, puts it well when he says ‘Pride makes us artificial, and humility makes us real.' So how easy do we find it to ask for help, even in the small mundane jobs of the day?
‘It’s not me; it’s you.’
The bible makes it clear that pride is blinding. As Kyle points out ‘You can’t see the pride in your life because of…well, because of the pride in your life.’ A proud person will naturally spend more time looking at the faults of those around them, rather than stopping and being willing to look at themselves. In his book, Kyle talks about how he often talks away to other road uses whilst in the car. One day, his son picked up on this and asked his dad why he was talking to them when they clearly couldn’t hear him. This made Kyle stop and think and whilst the other road uses couldn’t hear the words that he was speaking, Kyle’s son could. These weren’t words that were encouraging and praising the other road uses, but words that were criticising them and putting them down. Kyle described himself as ‘a Pharisee on wheels’. In his book, Kyle used this practical example of him driving, to make a really good illustration that has stuck with me. He observed how when we drive, we are surrounded by huge windows that allow us to see the faults and mistakes of everyone around us and yet the only thing that allows us to look at ourselves, is the small rearview mirror that we each have in our car. So the question that we have to ask ourselves is, do we spend more time judging what everyone around us is doing rather than looking at ourselves, and if we are willing to stop and dare to look, how big is our mirror of self-reflection?
[1] 'The End of Me' by Kyle Idleman
‘You aren’t going to talk like that to me!’
‘Pride makes us defensive and unwilling to hear criticism or correction. It’s also assuming a hierarchy in which we outrank the other person.’ What is our gut reaction to somebody lovingly pointing something out to us? Ephesians 4:2 sets out quite the challenge: ‘Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.' Do we make ourselves open and vulnerable to receiving feedback and advice or do we put up a defence and protect ourselves, scared that somebody might actually point out our own greatest fears about ourselves?
‘I’m not going to be the one to apologise.’
How easy do we find it to apologise, and I mean to truly apologise without any hidden excuses or follow up justifications as to why we behaved in a certain way? Naturally, proud people tend to be drawn into conflict and yet really struggle with the concept of having to apologise at a heart level.
‘It’s not fair.’
‘If I feel I’m more deserving than everybody around me, a lot of things are going to seem unfair.’ If we struggle with pride then we will naturally feel as though we are entitled to things that make life comfortable rather than being grateful for them. What do our prayers look like? Are our prayers filled with thanks for what we have been blessed with? If not, you can confidently know that pride has got in the way and led you to believe that those blessings are the very least you deserve so why would you need to say thank you for them.
‘Did you hear about…’
How quick are we to find the ‘tax collector’ in the room or in our conversations? Pharisees will quickly join in with any kind of talk that raises them up higher in order to push others further down. It’s worth stopping and asking what the motive is behind our conversations.
‘I don’t need anybody’s help.’
Kyle points out that at no point in his prayer does the Pharisee ask for God’s help. He clearly thinks that he’s fully sufficient in his own capabilities. Be careful as ‘Pride keeps us from realising how desperately we need God.’ A proud person will see seeking help as a sign of weakness. Thomas Merton, an American monk, puts it well when he says ‘Pride makes us artificial, and humility makes us real.' So how easy do we find it to ask for help, even in the small mundane jobs of the day?
‘It’s not me; it’s you.’
The bible makes it clear that pride is blinding. As Kyle points out ‘You can’t see the pride in your life because of…well, because of the pride in your life.’ A proud person will naturally spend more time looking at the faults of those around them, rather than stopping and being willing to look at themselves. In his book, Kyle talks about how he often talks away to other road uses whilst in the car. One day, his son picked up on this and asked his dad why he was talking to them when they clearly couldn’t hear him. This made Kyle stop and think and whilst the other road uses couldn’t hear the words that he was speaking, Kyle’s son could. These weren’t words that were encouraging and praising the other road uses, but words that were criticising them and putting them down. Kyle described himself as ‘a Pharisee on wheels’. In his book, Kyle used this practical example of him driving, to make a really good illustration that has stuck with me. He observed how when we drive, we are surrounded by huge windows that allow us to see the faults and mistakes of everyone around us and yet the only thing that allows us to look at ourselves, is the small rearview mirror that we each have in our car. So the question that we have to ask ourselves is, do we spend more time judging what everyone around us is doing rather than looking at ourselves, and if we are willing to stop and dare to look, how big is our mirror of self-reflection?
[1] 'The End of Me' by Kyle Idleman
Jen Burch
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