The Apostle Paul sums up the dilemma that many of us feel in Romans 7:15, 'I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.'
We can often feel completely opposite emotions at the same time, often presenting a calm exterior which hides churning emotions within. Why is it that we can think one thing in our heads yet feel something very different in our hearts? It is these conflicting thoughts and emotions and the pressure they can cause within us that leads to many of the struggles and difficulties people experience in their lives.
The answer can best be described by the analogy of two people living in one house. There are at least two distinct parts to each of us. Most of us have an introvert temperament and an extrovert. Some have both introvert temperaments. Some have both introvert temperaments with an extrovert on top and others have both extrovert temperaments with an introvert underneath. Not everyone has an extrovert temperament but everyone has an introvert - that shows how important that part of us is, yet it is usually the most misunderstood part of who we are.
Imagine you have an introvert and extrovert temperament living together in one house. I want to get to know you so I knock on the door and am greeted by the extrovert, who may be bubbly and outgoing or more serious but quite strong and dominant. However I know there is more to you than this extrovert who always presents himself so I come in and ask to meet the introvert. If the introvert has never been given a voice he is likely to be cowering in a corner with no confidence and the extrovert will be reluctant to let him emerge.
However the introvert does have value, does have an important perspective and is the part of you that enables you to build deep and meaningful relationships. As the introvert is given a voice and grows in confidence the two temperaments learn to respect one another, listen to each other and work together. The result is a place of peace and understanding and the opportunity to be comfortable with who you are and live in the best that God has created you to be.
To explore these concepts further follow the links below:
Notes taken from 'Understanding Yourself' by John Sparkes, a temperament manual which is written from the perspective of what a child needs as they are growing up.